Never say never, again

Mood: Content but pensive
Music: 17 - Kings of Leon
Date/Time: Thursday, 25th June, 2009/12:03AM

"You are an idiot, but you are my idiot.
I love you.
Always have, always will."

Today, I'm happy. I just want you to know that.

I know I haven't been writing much lately, I admit this - but I've been so caught up in different things - that I haven't had the inclination to write.
The funny thing is, I do want to write - if just to vent about what has been happening. I wish I was the open type of person that could lay things out there and write openly about these things.
However, the public relations person in me remembers that it's important to maintain a certain level of discretion on the internet.
And my past reminds me that people will visit your blog to garner information to use against you in the present or future.
This is fact. Sadly.

I'm not saying it will happen this time around with this blog - but once bitten - twice shy.

Have you ever found yourself doing something you swore you would never do? I find that the longer I am alive, the less things I say with absolute resolve.
(e.g. I will NEVER do that, has been replaced by "Never say never and never vouch for anyone but yourself.")

I find that being an adult means that ideals you hold so near and dear are no longer steadfast...or ideal. Being an adult means doing things you thought in your younger years you would never do, but find yourself now doing out of necessity or stupidity.
It's amazing, but as I get older, I find myself making hard decisions - I also find that not only have I become more morally askew - but putting realistic things like paying a bill over an ideal.

It's amazing how ideals fly out the window when faced with hard decisions. No wonder few people want to change the world after a certain age. Revolutionaries don't get older, they get older and wiser - and understand that idealism is something you can afford only if you are independently wealthy or willing to sacrifice materialism and comfort.

Forget the revolution, I've tempered my need to change the world with a more realistic outlook. I'm taking on only what I can handle. And while I will continue to be the change I want to see in the world - I also see the world a lot differently than I did before.

I'm not settling, I'm picking my battles more carefully...and "never say never" is a new ideal that I will hold to - steadfastly.

Love,
Ally.

Photo Credit: Profession of love on skin (the Sharpie series); Date of photo unavailable