No Apology Required

Mood: Incredibly Content
Music: Chapter 3.3 - The Creative Process (Receive) - Rhonda Byrne
Date/Time: Monday, 17th August, 2009/10:25AM

I find that the older I get, the less inclined I feel to apologize for the person I am, the person I am becoming.

I think while my core personality is pretty static - the rest of me is dynamic. My likes and dislikes are changing, so are the things I determine to be "absolutes". The older I get, the less things fall under the category of "I'd never do that...".
The older I get, the less I care about apologizing for. I'm me, and if someone cannot accept this, why am I going to get upset? And why am I going to apologize?


Dare I say, I am mellowing with age?
I like the sound of that. But all this makes me think, isn't this a part of getting older? Becoming more comfortable in your skin, and being okay with the person you are becoming. There comes a point where you have to find a balance between being incredibly unselfish and being unapologetically selfish.
You have to strike that balance between serving the world and those you love, and looking out for number one: YOU.
That's what I mean by being okay with the person you are becoming: Balance.

I turn 24 on Sunday, and in the weeks leading up to my birthday, I tend to reflect on my life, think about what I've done that year, the progress I've made with my life and the things yet to accomplish. I find that a birthday is the perfect time to reflect - not because you are reminded of your mortality or age, but because it's a swift kick in the ass that life is not waiting for you to decide you are ready to live.

What have I accomplished this year?
I smile as I ask myself that question, I smile because I started this year an incomplete version of myself, but instead of dwelling on the negativity that was the last half of 2008 - I surrounded myself with positivity.
Great friends, great memories and positive thoughts of the future. I allowed myself to be selfish, and I took my time to heal. Am I a little bitter about what happened?
A part of me is, but the majority of me has moved on from it all. It would be a lie to say I was over it, because I'm not - I'm in repair, I'm not better but I'm getting there.

I know I'm being vague again, but if I put all the juicy things on this blog, what will I write about in my best selling novel or memoir?

Love,
Ally.

Photo Credit: Midnight Margaritas @ Chilito's Comida; Sunday, 9th August, 2009