All the men I never loved...

Music: Nice To Know You - Incubus
Mood: Content and Mellow
Date/Time: Wednesday, October, 2009/2:39AM

First let me apologise, a few of you have asked me why I haven't blogged in awhile - and in all honesty - the vibe just was not there for a few reasons.
Between illness, life and dealing with a few issues - I had no inclination to blog.

I last blogged on September 7th, and it was a semi-prepared blog entry - it made no reference to the drama that had recently happened - or even how I was truly feeling about a lot of things that were happening then.
Not that I wish to go back down that road and dredge up the past - but I feel the need to clarify this.

"All the men I never loved, distracted me from all the men I could have loved."

On the way back from Dover, St. Ann on Monday night - I uttered those words to two of my friends - it was so profound that my companions and I spent a while discussing the meaning of those words.

As I think about the past, and how both experiences and emotions have shaped the person I have become - I find myself wondering - did I miss out on a profound and deeply spiritual connection with a potential mate - because I wasted time with someone I didn't love.
Or worse, someone I knew at the time I would never love?

All those second chances, failed attempts, hours of "communicating", and refusing to drop the whip I was using to beat the dead horse - what have I missed?
I don't ask this question as a "what-if?"...that's not my style - I ask this question more as a way of gaining insight about myself.

Never let a good opportunity pass you by, because you're too busy holding on to the past. Life is too short, and too precious to waste on people you do not love, and never will love...and worse - people who do not love you.

Don't think I'm selfish - I'm not - I'm selfless enough to know when to stop...and move on with life.
And I didn't need a JM$6000 per hour session with my therapist to learn that lesson - life gave me that one for free. Thanks Life, I appreciate that.

Love,
Ally.

Photo Credit: Summer Rain; An original artistic effort by MorphineKisses; Tuesday, August 18th, 2009