Mood: Content and Grateful
Music: Magnet and Steel by Third World
Date/Time: Sunday, September 6th, 2009/1:50PM
I find the easiest way to live is to heed the advice of those who matter, ignore the words of those who don't matter, regularly indulge in at least 3 guilty pleasures, buy pretty underwear, drink alcohol in moderation, and choose wisely who you allow to see you cry.
I've had a great weekend, and on this mellow Sunday morning I find myself reflecting on a few things. I find myself wondering why do we make certain decisions, when we know a situation will only end poorly?
Do we set ourselves up for a bad ending because we know in the back of our mind's it's a poor decision? Or is the foreboding simply our subconscious trying to warn us?
When you know better, why is it often hard to do better?
I know this week and the past few years is something that I have learned from and will continue to learn from - and I know that even before I have gained the distance to talk about it (and write about it) - I will be collecting the lessons in the back of my mind.
I will collect these lessons, even if how I feel fades. Feelings change - they are transient and malleable. And there is something about time and distance that changes how you feel about a particular moment, memory, emotion or person.
I also find that love, clouds memory and emotion towards any person or situation.
It was a bad week, I let my temper get the best of me - but I also let my love for someone get the best of me. I let the love I felt for someone cloud my expectations of the situation. It's a hell of a thing when you love someone, and expect they will change - only to find they haven't and probably will not.
Just because you have changed, doesn't mean someone has. Remember that.
...And now that chapter of my life is officially closed.
So on the other side of it all, and after a great weekend - filled reminders of how lucky and blessed I am (and how grateful I am for that) - I find myself both pensive and hopeful.
Pensive and hopeful with one question on my mind: What great adventure waits for me around the corner?
I'm not sure of the answer, but instead of sitting and waiting: I'm walking towards it singing a tune with a smile on my face.
Love,
Ally.
Photo Credit: Happy Feet; Tuesday, October, 23, 2007
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